Sirius's Dairy and Confuzzering Ramblings
by Brilliant Genius Number 7
Summary: This is my dairy. Or diary. Or Journal. From 3rd person, 1st person, and me person. Yes, possibly I'm a person. Being born into my family is confuzzering. Enjoy my wonderful ramblings possibly confusing to anyone but me. Possibly romance included.
1. dairy entry 1

**DICLAIMER! **I don't own anything except me myself and I. And my pen name.

:meow

(This is Sirius's book, in his point of view)

I, once, was a prankster. Well I still am. Deal. Anyway, this is my book: 'The Ramblings of a Sexy Marauder'. Enjoy. Well, it's actually a dairy. Or diary. But that sounds girly, and I'm a MAN! So, dairy, or journal? I like dairy. Enjoy my dairy.

Me (fabulous me!) and James (me best friend since we were ickle firsties… I was still the hotter one…) Remus, (who I sometimes get confuzzered with various people: James, Lily, and an assorted amount of strangers.) and Peter (the fiend… I mean, fan, we can't get rid of) and a llama I ran into ice skating on the pond… literally.

We were going to Zonko's joke shop when we ran into some Slytherin's, literally once again, and hexed them into next week and a month after. The llama couldn't hold his new wand I bought for him, so we all just hexed double in the name of Fred! (That's the llamas' imaginary friend.) after Zonko's we went off in separate directions, James to go stalk lily like crazy in love people do, peter probably to go watch lily yell at James, Remus, well, being Remus he'd be at the library, or with some girl that I've never heard of because she's so shy. Me you ask? I'd be at Madam Puddifoot's café, snogging the brains out of… what's her name? Oh right! Bee… or something close. When I got there she was already waiting at my famous table. (ALL marauders had a famous table… no one sat there for various reasons, one being we would hex them father in time then those Slytherin's back there.) The llama was there to with his date, Fred's sister, who was super hot for someone I'm not supposed to be able to see. I mean she was sweating! Why didn't she take off her coat? Well, when I got to the table, the person I think is named Tiffany, started snogging me, and given time to think I wondered into the silent, white place that was my brain.

Why is it called Madame Puddifoot's café? Does she have a Puddifoot? On second thought, I don't want to know. Wonder if I finished the transfiguration homework that is due tomorrow…. Oh! Is that Lily? Why is she with that O'Brien kid? Why isn't James there to hex him into… a year from today? NO! Twenty years from today! He would be like… be thirty then! And let's make him fat, shall we? Okay, he's now fat in my brain. And has no hair! And is a real slob! All right! Suddenly a monkey appeared in my head and I became entranced with it… it's so furry… I want to pet it…

When I got back from detention for beating up Fred because he hurt the llamas feelings, I saw a pony. I liked pony's… until that one attacked me when I tried to pet it. Its sparkly blue eyes turned red with flames in them and chased me twice around the grounds, me screaming and crying, "I hate you! Stupid ugly fire breathing pony! What did I ever do to you? I never even said a single word to you and your running after me! Where did you learn your manners? I don't think you did learn them, because this is not a good way to make a good first impression! Do you think I'll become you friend after this? Because I won't! you'll be a lonely pony who has no friends!" it went on like that for a long time until I realized he was chasing the parrot that was yelling things about the pony's mother, who seemed in the parrots eyes to cover the whole pacific ocean and was as ugly as a gorillas butt. He also said she sat next to Jesus in college, or was it Adam and Eve? Anyways, I pushed the parrot off me and he left, flying free in the sky I started to cry. Fly free, parrot and dear friend. It's not safe anymore! Go, fly to the heavens were you belong! He looked at me funny then flew very fast away. Why? I may never know.


	2. dairy entry 2

-1Dear dairy,

Today I ate stuff I shouldn't have. I ate Remus' chicken. (it's near his time of month) He hit me upside the head. Then I ate James' jelly roll in the kitchens. He hit me upside the head. I ate Lily's conditioner. She, along with James and Remus, hit me upside the head. Today was not fun. What is with people and hitting me upside the head? Even McGonagall hit me! Well, that was for a good reason…

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I read about the star Sirius in social studies today, and how the Egyptian's used it as a thing to help track days and stuff. I almost burst out laughing. I wanted to shout "SIRIUS!" at the top of my lungs. But I didn't. Curse you common sense!


	3. dairy entry 3

-1Dear dairy,

Lily looked really good today. It's a shame. James would never be my friend again if he ever saw what I was writing. Sad, sad, me. The llama learned how to use his wand, that's good. Yup… I'm bored. Very. I already dated all the girls and the passage ways have already been found, and we're not doing any pranks till tomorrow. I'm soooo bored.

I'll get back to you, if I don't die of boredom.


	4. dairy entry 4

-1Dear dairy,

Today, was a day. Yesterday, was not a day. 'What was it then?' is the question.

'How the hell would I know?' is the answer.

Seriously?

Sirius Lee Black


	5. dairy entry 5

-1Dear Dairy,

I can't chose! I was just at lunch before I had and emotional breakdown. I couldn't decide whether or not I should try the new pudding. It's too much for me! I'm crying right now. Many girls followed to try and comfort me… I feel so loved! Lalala… I can't flipen decide! Should I eat the pudding or not! James said to try it but something in my gut told me someone put something in it! I can't take the pressure! Maybe I'll look back on this and laugh when I read this again, but right now it's a hard decision. I can't take this! If llama were here he would help me. Were is a friend when I need one? Oh, here they are.

You never help me with my problems!

Sirius


	6. dairy entry 6

Whoa! I haven't updated in like… FOREVER!

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Dear dairy,

Hi, it's me again. So much has happened since I lost you under my bed. Well, first of all, and most important of all, I met a really cool girl named Katie, and that was awesome. Second of all, I caught Lily and James in a broom closet. Shhhh! And third of all things that are good, is that Remus met a girl too! Yay! All of us have dates! Oh right, Peter. He's away in Paris, doing something. I really don't care though. And the llama's doing fine. He's cool, he's hanging. Since Peter don't hang with us no more he does. And he's soooooo much cooler.

Lovingly, Prettifully, and happily,

Sirius

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I tried to make it longer, but it's hard. So much school, so little time. I'll be back!


End file.
